http://SocialConfidenceCenter.com Self-Confidence: How to Be Relaxed When Talking to Anyone

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[Are you stuck in the performance game? Does every conversation or interaction you have feel like it has to live up to something? Do you constantly feel like you're being evaluated?

Today we're going to discuss different ways to become more relaxed around others so you can start putting yourself out there and stop judging everything you do.

The first thing to understand is that talking to people is not a performance. Many of us approach the conversation as if we are being graded. . . usually on our own. If you feel tense or pressured or if you "watch" yourself while you're having a conversation, that's how you know you're in performance mode.

It doesn't stop there either! Most of the time, we also take a moment to analyze ourselves after the conversation is over: Was I good enough? Did I say the right things? Did they react well to me?

Performance mode is problematic for several reasons: First, when you're in performance mode, you're treading water. You are being evaluated. It's similar to the mentality of taking an exam. When you take an exam, are you spontaneous, fun, witty and humorous, or are you withdrawn, nervous, stuffy and awkward? Option B, right?

Performance mode puts us in the mindset that things must go a certain way or the conversation is a failure. When we start to think that things are not going well, we freeze up and become tense. . . and the people around us can feel it. While this isn't a total deal breaker, it can alienate people or harm the outcome you want in a given situation.

Another important factor to consider is that in performance mode, our focus is entirely on you: how am I doing? What do I look like? What do people think of me? You become obsessed with your own presence. Guess what happens when we let that happen? We are completely unaware of each other's presence. Would you want to have a conversation with someone who didn't know you were there?

It's the same for everything from a casual date to an important business meeting:

The people we talk to want our attention! They want us to know that we are focused on them and their needs.

When we focus on ourselves, it kills our ability to do everything we are here to do.

Why is it so difficult to turn away from ourselves when we are in conversation? Well, part of it is because our priorities are misaligned: the conversation isn't about proving something, it's about making a connection.

So, what is connection and how do you create it? I think there are two]

To read more, go here:

[http://socialconfidencecenter.com/updates/the-skill-of-s…king-to-anyone/]

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